Apparently, the entire planet along with the internet, has gone into full-tilt freak out mode major since Disney cast Halle Bailey to play the part of Ariel in their live-action version of The Little Mermaid.
I don't actually know much about Halle and if I'm being honest, being the mother of two toddlers doesn't leave much room in my life for anything else. Unless it involves my activism, my writing, the Muppet Babies, the battle of wits that is potty training, or how much cheese we have left in the fridge, it doesn't generally come in on my radar.
Except for one thing.
I wasn't seeing it on the news.
The only place I could see or find anything about this absurd conundrum was Google and Facebook. I had many friends sharing memes and articles about it. The entire thing started taking over my news feed and it was getting to the point where I had to see for myself what the big ordeal was.
When a post catches my attention, I like to read the comments, even if I don't comment myself. I was incredibly astonished by the amount of pettiness and ridicule in the things people were saying. So, I did some research and I also had a conversation with my friend Heather, who had been arguing about it with her friend for days. I just couldn't be quiet any longer.
Here's what I've learned.
1. Hans Christian Andersen
This argument is perhaps the one I've seen used the most, yet it's also the undoing of the argument in and of itself.
Apparently and according to the skewed logic by these people, because Hans is Danish, Ariel should have a fair complexion because the adaptation by Disney is based on the Hans Christian Andersen version of The Little Mermaid.
First, I just want to be clear about this. Hans Christian Andersen didn't invent Mermaids, nor did he have a Monopoly on them, to the best of my knowledge. Mermaids were featured in Homer's Odyssey and Jo Rowling featured vastly different looking Mermaids at the bottom of the Black Lake outside of Hogwarts in Harry Potter, which were far less human, a lot more fish and they were certainly NOT beautiful, sexy, or teenagers.
The idea and mentality that a Mythological Creature has to ‘look' a certain way because of the descent of the author is quite possibly one of the most monumentally stupid things I've ever heard.
The only thing missing from this entire pathetic argument is the utter and complete outrage from the Hispanic Community because Disney's Ariel was never Hispanic due to a conspiracy theory about Walt Disney being of Hispanic descent.
It would be the point at which I would seriously consider living underground and becoming a mole person.
2. The Caribbean
This is another subject relating to the argument that just further proves how stupid the whole thing is.
Disney's The Little Mermaid is set in the Caribbean in the waters south of France. I told Heather I wanted to see a native Caribbean girl who was as fair skinned Scandinavian as my daughter. The truth is, it will never happen because people who are indigenous to the Tropics are NOT fair skinned. They have COLOR, beautiful and gorgeous color, but color all the same.
Disney NEVER should have made a Caribbean Mermaid with fair skin, period. But then again, look how long it took for Disney to introduce Tiana and Elena so little girls of color could finally have their Princess to physically identify with.
It just goes to show how slow moving society is when it comes to progression and evolution. God forbid we accept anything that doesn't fall directly in line with our comfort zones.
Heavens to Mergatroyd.
3. Adaptation
This is something that truly boondoggles me because it shows how little people actually understand how adaptations work, and for those who get it, it shows what they're willing to compromise and what they aren't.
If you're one of those twits who constantly complains about books becoming movies and how poorly the stories were translated by the production teams, let me be the first to tell you to suck it up. When it comes to movies and TV, time and money is of the essence. If you can't accept what you get, then kindly please pull up your adult pants and get over it.
(I'm glaring at you, GoT S.8 Critics!!!)
The rest of us don't care about your opinion. We care about enjoying whatever it is we've been waiting for without your critical jaws flapping through the whole damn thing. You all know exactly who you are, too. Going around, acting like Siskel and Ebert. As if you're all some sort of cinematic experts. BITE ME.
That said, let's talk about the fact that all these people complaining about a Black Ariel are nothing but crickets when it comes to the massive change to the ending of Hans' version of the story.
As it goes, ‘Ariel' fails to make the Prince fall in love with her, so she ends up dissolving into sea foam and her soul has to perform 300 good deeds before she can ascend to heaven, her reward for persevering so hard for a human soul.
That whole ending probably wouldn't work out very well for little girls who also happen to want to be Mermaids. I remember being a little girl myself when Disney released the original animation in theaters. I was in the 3rd Grade and we went to Disney World before the theater release, and I received the VHS the following Christmas. I don't think I would have enjoyed it so much at the age of 8, if Ariel hadn't been turned into a human to live happily ever after.
This is how adaptations work. Details and plot points are changed, either for the benefit of the audience, or because of time and budget constraints. It happens, so deal with it. OR, get your own blog and bitch about it there.
The real boondoggle here is that the accuracy police have zero to say when it comes to such a gigantic change, but they have EVERYTHING to say and they say it with the outrage of a herd of angry wildebeest, when it comes to Halle Bailey becoming Ariel. I like to think of myself as an intellectual person, but I don't think there is enough intellect and intelligence on this godforsaken planet to even scratch the surface toward the direction of helping me understand such crazy nonsense.
RACIST NONSENSE!!!
I don't care what anyone says. There is no amount of intelligent logic to support this being a bad idea. I don't care how convinced someone is that it has nothing to do with the color of her skin. They know the truth, deep down.
In Conclusion ...
Go outside, breathe some fresh air, listen to the birds chirping, smell the fragrant flowers around you, and above all else …
GET A GRIP!!!
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